Elf Dance for double A friend of mine wrote a great parody of "half-elf." We place the beginning:
Pinteb narrowed his eyes, annoyed by the light she saw doubled, almost overlapping, therefore, that the branches were trying in vain to filter it, and settled back on the branch on which, confused as usual, he woke up . Life in the forest had proved much more uncomfortable than he had imagined, beginning with the basics: no hammock ready and no counter on which to rest, only gnarled and twisted branches, or alternatively, very large leaves little resistant to its weight. Snorted and chuckled, irritated because he did not know which of the two actions was better to do, and knowing it was most needed at that time, after 10 consecutive hours spent drinking beer. Bitterly regretted the outside world to the dark forest of Luciwood and convenience of the owners of refrigerators, pantries, wine cellars and taverns, in the midst of which he was born, and spent twice as much free time available to it in employment, in reality too fit sober people, to ask if he would ever come back to drink his beer in peace. A sudden noise made
vibrate his big red nose, inherited from his father, the only thing that would make it totally different from an elf. For the rest he had taken from his elf mother and policewoman: quell'insulsa face was so green, with pointed ears and the craze to be every 5 minutes, the breath test, but her belly was larger than that of a cop as they should.
A field of weeds with a tulip in the middle, that's what it seemed.
Elves were fighting among themselves a veritable civil war.
People lived in the same inn, acquaintances, old friends, comrades of snacks and drinks, they hated and battled for one reason only: the queen Tania.
Tania sat on the throne with his legs crossed. Many years earlier he had assembled the best cosmetic surgeons and had overthrown (in fact) the legitimate sovereign, quasi-undressing and making the investment entire people as a queen of Barca, the city where the elves of the forest dwelling Luciood (while still, of course, were in the same boat).
Moments later, the population was divided into two factions.
Many nobles loyal to the former royal couple, led by former queen had fled into the forest and had formed a small group of rebels, who wanted to Tania for him and the king's legitimate wife.
Over the years, other elves, having attained the peace of mind or being sick and tired beyond all limits to make sacrifices to pay the income tax and the analogy Barchesi IRAP, had joined them, exasperated look from the tyrannical ruler Tania with us .
Moreover, a illegitimate queen as she was forced to act sternly to maintain their power, but could also provoke assiduous in vain hopes, but who proved loyal. That is why many elves were left Barca.
So the two sides waged war for years, without that there were neither winners nor losers, while Tania, already very good at first, becoming more beautiful and lift. It was incredible: contrary to what usually happens, the lifting doubled its beauty every time you do not tripled. Although false and manipulated inch by inch, it seemed more natural than nature. It is said, among the prisoners (but only between them, since that rarely came out) that none other Silvio extraordinarily admired, gosh, he had come to his throne only to ask the address of a surgeon.
(C) 2010 by David Scarin
DANCES FROM HELL, Stories by Meg Cabot, Kim Harrison, Michele Jaffe, Lauren Myracle, Stephenie Meyer. 
